Revista
de la
Universidad
del Zulia
Fundada en 1947
por el Dr. Jesús Enrique Lossada
NÚMERO ESPECIAL
DEPÓSITO LEGAL ZU2020000153
Esta publicación científica en formato digital
es continuidad de la revista impresa
ISSN 0041-8811
E-ISSN 2665-0428
Ciencias
de la
Educación
Año 12 N° 35
Noviembre - 2021
Tercera Época
Maracaibo-Venezuela
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Characteristics that act in young people as psychological
prerequisites to avoid psychological intimacy in relationships
Tatyana V. Skutina
Yulia G. Yudina
Vera V. Korshunova
Dmitry N. Kuzmin
Ekaterina V. Potapova
ABSTRACT
The article empirically substantiates the hypothesis about the severity of the characteristics of
avoiding psychological intimacy in young people: low autonomy, self-doubt, the presence of an
avoidant type of attachment, counter-dependence, the experienced lack of intimacy in relationships
with significant adults in childhood and the needs for isolation and security in subjective perceptions
of psychological intimacy. These characteristics were compared in two groups of boys and girls aged
20-25 years, the sample was 60 people. Methods were used: "Questionnaire of interpersonal
dependence" (p. Girshfield, adapted by O.P. Makushina), the questionnaire "The experience of close
relationships" by K. Brennan and R.K. Fraley, adapted by T.V. Kazantseva, the test for counter-
dependence (B.K. Weinhold, D.B. Weinhold). The severity of closeness by significant adults in
childhood, the peculiarities of subjective ideas about psychological closeness were revealed by the
method of conversation and through the creation of a drawing "The image of the desired
relationship". The results of the study showed that the differences between the groups are significant
in all parameters stated in the hypothesis (p ≤ 0.01). Subjective ideas about intimacy differ in the
severity of the needs to be the center of your world in a relationship; in community; in observing
personal boundaries; (p ≤ 0.01); to feel safe in a relationship (p ≤ 0.05).
KEY WORDS: youth; attitude; individual differences; parental attitude; psychological closeness;
autonomy; type of attachment; young people; subjective perceptions of closeness.
*Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Developmental Psychology and
Counseling, Siberian Federal University, Krasnoyarsk, Russia. ORCID: https://orcid.org/0000-0002-1772-8108. E-
mail: tvforte@mail.ru
**Candidate of Pedagogical Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Developmental Psychology and
Counseling, Siberian Federal University, Krasnoyarsk, Russia. ORCID: https://orcid.org/0000-0003-2063-7079 . E-
mail: yudish@mail.ru
***Candidate of Pedagogical Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Information Technologies of
Education and Continuing Education, Siberian Federal University, Krasnoyarsk, Russia. ORCID:
https://orcid.org/0000-0002-2042-2417. E-mail: wera7@mail.ru
****Candidate of Pedagogical Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Information Systems, Siberian
Federal University, Krasnoyarsk, Russia. ORCID: https://orcid.org/0000-0002-8489-4683. E-mail:
kuzmin_d_n@mail.ru
*****Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Developmental Psychology
and Counseling, Siberian Federal University, Krasnoyarsk, Russia. ORCID: https://orcid.org/0000-0001-9302-
5810. E-mail: potapowa.catia2011@yandex.ru
Recibido: 27/07/2021 Aceptado: 23/09/2021
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Características que actúan en los jóvenes como prerrequisitos
psicológicos para evitar la intimidad psicológica en las relaciones
ABSTRACT
El artículo fundamenta empíricamente la hipótesis sobre la gravedad de las características de
evitación de la intimidad psicológica en los jóvenes: baja autonomía, duda de uno mismo,
presencia de un tipo de apego evitativo, contradependencia, la falta de intimidad
experimentada en las relaciones con adultos significativos en la infancia y las necesidades de
aislamiento y seguridad en las percepciones subjetivas de la intimidad psicológica. Estas
características se compararon en dos grupos de jóvenes de 20 a 25 años; la muestra fue de 60
personas. Se utilizaron métodos: "Cuestionario de dependencia interpersonal" (p. Girshfield,
adaptado por O.P. Makushina), el cuestionario "La experiencia de las relaciones cercanas" de
K. Brennan y R.K. Fraley, adaptado por T.V. Kazantseva, la prueba de contradependencia
(B.K. Weinhold, D.B. Weinhold). La severidad de la cercanía de los adultos importantes en
la infancia, las peculiaridades de las ideas subjetivas sobre la cercanía psicológica fueron
reveladas por el método de conversación y mediante la creación de un dibujo "La imagen de
la relación deseada". Los resultados del estudio mostraron que las diferencias entre los grupos
son significativas en todos los parámetros planteados en la hipótesis (p ≤ 0.01). Las ideas
subjetivas sobre la intimidad difieren en la severidad de las necesidades de ser el centro de su
mundo en una relación; en comunidad, en la observación de los límites personales; (p ≤ 0,01);
sentirse seguro en una relación (p ≤ 0,05).
PALABRAS CLAVE: juventud; actitud; diferencias individuales; actitud parental; cercanía
psicológica; autonomía; tipo de apego; jóvenes; percepciones subjetivas de cercanía.
Introduction
The desire to create and maintain close relationships is viewed by most researchers as
a fundamental human need (Kulikov, Pastushik, 2009). It becomes more difficult for a person
to build harmonious relations in the modern world, in the world of technology and the
influence of the media. There is a lengthening of the period of searching for a partner, an
increase in the age of marriage, a short duration of relationships and low satisfaction with
them, which can also be considered a manifestation of a deficit in the ability to form
harmonious relationships. Increasingly, there are cases when a person refuses close
relationships and chooses, for example, material benefits, building a career, considering
romantic relationships a waste of its time.
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In modern psychology, this problem is associated with a tendency to exaggerate the
role of independence, personal autonomy, freedom and personal achievement and to play
down the role of attachment. All this leads to various kinds of difficulties in establishing
psychological closeness (Dergacheva, 2002; Melnikova, 2014).
Independence, understood as freedom from all attachments and influences, is
inherently an avoidance of responsibility and an inability to create true intimacy. The fear of
rejection, of losing oneself lies in alienation from people. Attachment theorists see the
struggle between two competing needs for intimacy and autonomy as the central dilemma of
human life (Sytko, 2011).
The ability to establish and maintain psychological closeness in interpersonal
relationships is one of the most important tasks of the sixth psychosocial stage according to
E. Erickson's periodization, which lasts from 20 to 25 years and marks the formal beginning
of adulthood (Erickson, 1996). Avoiding situations and contacts that lead to intimacy for fear
of “losing independence” can lead to self-isolation, the feeling of loneliness threatens
psychological well-being at this age and in the future. It is noted that young people aged 18-
24 are one of the most vulnerable groups in terms of psychological well-being (Yaremchuk,
Bakina, 2021).
In addition, the importance of creating psychological and pedagogical development
practices that develop the universal abilities of young people, capable of helping in resolving
interpersonal and intrapersonal difficulties and problems, is noted (Smolyaninova et al.,
2021).
The relationship between psychological well-being, resources for the development of
interpersonal relationships and the individual characteristics of young people has been
studied in a number of works (Garaa-Alandete, 2015; Fedorenko et al, 2018; Krok, 2018;
Borodovitsyna, 2020).
In addition, it is noted that people with a higher level of psychological well-being are
more likely to talk about their understanding of happiness in terms of intimacy and
relationships with other people, and people with lower indicators - in terms of personal self-
development, their own autonomy and dominance (Kartasheva, Grishina, 2015).
With such a high importance of psychological closeness for individual psychological
well-being of a person, with all the relevance of the development of psychological resources
for young people to create and maintain close relationships in their future family, it seems
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important to us to identify not only individual psychological characteristics of young people
that hinder intimacy, as has been done in a number of studies.
The aim of our research was to identify theoretically and consider in a complex a
number of features of young people who act as psychological prerequisites for their avoidance
of psychological intimacy in relationships. And empirically check for differences in the
selected parameters in young people who do not have psychological closeness in a
relationship and do not seek it, compared with boys and girls who seek and have
psychological closeness in a relationship.
1. Literature Review
As a result of analyzing the psychological literature, we identified a number of
individual characteristics of young people who do not seek closeness in relationships, as well
as the characteristics of their interpersonal relationships with significant adults, which, in
our assumption, may distinguish them from young people seeking psychological closeness.
One of the characteristics associated with the desire for an individual lifestyle, rather
than close relationships, may be the desire for autonomy. However, when considering
personal autonomy in the context of interpersonal interaction, it is very important to
distinguish true autonomy from psychological distancing from other people and avoidance
of attachment to people (Stankovskaya, 2014; Melnikova, 2014; Sergeev, 2018). E. Erickson
considered autonomy in the context of the process of growing up - separation, development
of the boundaries of freedom of their actions. He understood autonomy as the ability for self-
regulation associated with the desire to assert itself as an independent individual who has
the right to freedom of choice. From the point of view of E. Erickson, autonomy is the main
new formation at the stage of development of the personality of a child aged from one to three
years (Erickson, 1996; Sabelnikova, 2008). The concept of personal autonomy as a self-
regulation mechanism was most fully developed within the framework of the theory of self-
determination by E. Desi and R. Ryan (Ryan, R.M., Deci, E. L., 2000; Dergacheva, 2002). R.
Girshfield defines autonomy as self-sufficiency, the tendency to distance from others,
avoidance of long-term interpersonal relationships, the desire for loneliness. In the presence
of autonomy, a person experiences its behavior as self-determined and corresponding to its
values and interests (Makushina, 2007).
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Counterdependence is also discussed as a characteristic of a person leading to “escape
from intimacy” in psychological research (Weinhold, J.B. Weinhold, B.K., 2004; Winehold
B.K., Winehold J.B., 2011); Counterdependence is understood as a form of human behavior
characterized by independence, a tendency to avoid closeness with another person, distrust
of the world around us (Avdeeva, 2017), as well as a violation of attachment, in which, despite
the high need for relationships, a person is afraid of intimacy. B.K. Winehold and D.B.
Wineholddescribes people with a pronounced counterdependence as self-sufficient, not
experiencing cravings for other people. The main reason for this behavior is the trauma
received by a person during its early development, in families where the parents were
estranged from each other or were emotionally insensitive to the child (Winehold B.K.,
Winehold J.B., 2011).
Indeed, it is generally accepted that the family, relationships with parents make the
most significant contribution to the formation of the child's personality and its subsequent
relationships with other people (Hanson, 2002; Collins, N.L., Feeney B.C., 2004).
Disruption of the parent-child bond, which implies a lack or lack of emotional
disposition, can have a very significant impact on self-perception and emotional connections
with others. If this disconnect is not identified and overcome, it creates a habit of isolation
and aloofness, which can have a profound effect on attitudes toward intimacy in adulthood.
Adults who were mistreated as children, especially if they were people they trusted, learned
to erect physical and psychological walls to protect them from the experiences of their
unhealed childhood traumas. They may tend to fear that they will experience the same abuse
or rejection when they try to bond with others in later ages (Avdeeva, 2017).
Traumatic is the lack of care and tenderness, insufficient attention to the needs of the
child, as well as various negative actions in relation to him, which destroys the feeling of
security and leads to a feeling of helplessness and the perception of the world as potentially
hostile. Under the influence of traumatic experience, a distorted self-image is formed.
According to attachment theory, human relationships are based on a system of close
and strong emotional ties established as a result of a long-term relationship between a child
and a mother in the first years of its life. Attachment differs from other emotional ties in that
a person experiences a sense of security and comfort, if it is reliable, or anxiety, insecurity,
acute dependence and similar negative states in an attachment relationship (Bowlby, 2003;
Brish, 2012). In the avoidant type of attachment, the type manifests a feeling of discomfort in
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close relationships, a feeling of dependence on a person, vulnerability and emotional
closeness. This type of attachment is formed when parents reject a child, do not respond to
its needs, and do not support him emotionally. A person in adulthood usually avoids close
relationships, keeps a partner at a distance, and also, as a rule, hides its feelings(Vasilenko,
2011). Therefore, we assumed that this type of attachment would be expressed in young
people who do not seek psychological closeness.
A person's self-confidence is also an important factor in interpersonal relationships.
This is not only the most important component of self-esteem, but also a person's attitude to
life, where the relationship of a person to himself, to activities and to other people.
Confidence (lack of confidence) of a person in himself is formed from early childhood and
then manifests itself throughout its life, influencing its social position and the semantic
characteristics of its life. Lack of sufficient positive attention on the part of an adult or, on
the contrary, pronounced guardianship and excessive protection of the child leads to the
formation of self-doubt as an experience of disbelief in oneself, in one's capabilities, which
reduces activity in the process of further life and communication (Zobkov, 2019).
Based on the analysis of the literature, we put forward the following assumption for
empirical verification: “Young people who do not strive for psychological closeness are
distinguished from young people who seek and have psychological closeness in relationships
with greater severity: the need for separateness than for compatibility, for the content of
subjective ideas about psychological closeness; striving for autonomy; self-doubt; lack of
closeness with significant adults in childhood; counterdependence, as well as a high
frequency of avoidance type of attachment among them”.
2. Methodology
Sample: 60 respondents took part in the study.
Group 1: young people - boys and girls 20-25 years old, striving and having
psychological closeness at the moment or had earlier, in the amount of 30 people.
Group 2: young people - boys and girls 20-25 years old, not striving for psychological
closeness in relationships, who have no experience of psychological closeness with a partner
at the moment or earlier, in the amount of 30 people.
Research procedure
.
The work with the participants consisted of three stages.
Stage 1 of work:
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- preliminary conversation;
- conducting techniques to determine the severity of autonomy, self-doubt, the
presence / absence of the avoidant type of attachment, the presence / absence of
counterdependence.
Stage 2 of work:
- Conversation with each member of both groups to identify relationships with
parents and other significant adults in childhood and the presence of closeness with them;
Stage 3 of work:
- each respondent creates a picture on the theme "Image of the desired relationship";
- Conducting a conversation, mediated by a drawing, with each participant separately.
YuliaKiseleva, a master's student of the Department of Developmental Psychology and
Consulting of the Institute of Pedagogy, Psychology and Sociology of the Siberian Federal
University, took part in the implementation of the scientific research under our scientific
supervision.
2.1. Methods
The Interpersonal Dependency Questionnaire, developed by R. Girshfield in 1977,
adapted by O.P. Makushina (Makushina, 2007), is used to identify the desire for autonomy
and self-doubt. To determine the type of attachment, the questionnaire “Experience of close
relationships” by K. Brennan and RK Frehley is used in the adaptation of T.V. Kazantseva
(Kazantseva, 2008) Thecounterdependence test developed by B.K. Winehold and D.B.
Winehold(Diagnostic portfolio, 2019). The severity of intimacy by significant adults in
childhood was revealed by the method of conversation. To study subjective ideas about
psychological intimacy, the creation of a drawing "The image of the desired relationship" and
a method of conversation based on it were used.The method of qualitative analysis of the
narrative of G.M. Breslav was used to analyze materials from interviews (Breslav, 2010).
Statistical data processing was performed using Fisher's F-test.
3. Results and Discussion
1 stage of work. Expression of autonomy, self-doubt, avoidant type of attachment, counterdependence
in young people who are striving and not striving for psychological closeness.
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All 60 respondents took part in the study at all stages, and completed all the proposed
methods. On the basis of the data obtained, we compared the values of the signs of autonomy,
self-doubt, avoidant type of attachment, counterdependence in young people seeking and not
seeking psychological closeness and made the differences found for statistical significance
using the Fisher test. The results are shown in Table 1.
Table 1. Differences in autonomy, self-doubt, avoidant type of attachment,
counterdependence between groups of young people seeking and not seeking psychological
closeness
Comparisoncriteria
Fisher's φ* criterion
desireforautonomy
5,68
self-doubt
5.31
counterdependence
3.23
having an avoidant type of attachment
6.54
As can be seen from Table 1, the differences between the compared groups turned
out to be significant for all parameters put forward in the hypothesis, at the level of
significance: p ≤ 0.01 according to Fisher's test.
2nd stage of work.Differences in the severity of psychological closeness in relationships with parents
and other significant adults in childhood.
While studying the severity of closeness with significant adults in childhood, we
conducted a conversation with each participant about their childhood experiences of
relationships with parents and other significant people. The participants were not able to
openly and easily talk about their relationships in childhood, but, nevertheless, the analysis
of the collected materials of conversations made it possible to highlight significant
differences between the groups.
In Group 1 (young people, aspiring and having psychological closeness), most of the
participants fondly recalled their childhood. Here are some typical statements for this group:
“Yes, of course. As a child, I liked to spend more time with my dad, we were constantly
together. When I got older, I began to communicate more with my mother, we got secrets.
We can discuss anything you like ”,“ Yes, I love these guys very much. In childhood, they
worried about me and protected me, but now it's the other way around. Sometimes there are
moments when it becomes so sad and sad, you come to your dad with the book
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“PippiLongstocking”, sit next to him and ask him to read like in childhood ”,“ Yes, now,
having matured, these moments are lacking. When you are tired or something doesn't work
out, you run to your mother with tears, and she hugs you, calms you down, strokes your head.
Or you get up in the morning and have delicious pancakes for breakfast”,“Parents have always
believed in me and still believe in me as in childhood. When I was little, I was constantly
kissed and hugged, talked about a lot with me, discussed my “tragic” love. They believed in
me, always supported my self-confidence, calling me a clever and beautiful woman. Next to
them I am always that little girl”, “I do not know people closer than my parents. They love
you with all your shoals and cockroaches. When I was little, my parents always arranged
joint activities: hiking in nature, going to the theater. Even earlier, I studied in a vocal studio,
so my mother left work to travel with me to competitions, supported me in every possible
way so that I would not worry. Thanks to its for that”.
The answers of the participants in group 2 (young people who do not seek
psychological closeness) are mostly opposite to the answers of the participants in group 1. In
this group, most of the participants note the absence of close relations with their parents in
childhood: “Since childhood I have not been close enough with my mother , often turned
down when asked to kiss, hug, or tell a bedtime story. My parents didn’t show me a model of
how to love”, “They are not at all close, as my parents divorced when I was seven years old.
Everyone started to arrange their life, but I don't seem to be there”, “It seems to me that only
a mark in the passport reminds them that they have a son. Since childhood, we don't really
get along with them, so I was more with my grandmother. Here is a close relationship with
its”, “I would not call our relationship close, because there are still topics and experiences
that I do not tell them about. Since childhood, we are at a distance with them, I lived all the
time with my grandparents in another city. We are not strangers, but we are not close either”.
“My grandmother says: “You were born for me”. My parents, when I was born, worked, built
a career, I practically do not remember them and do not know them. Then they began to
travel, but they did not take me with them, they say, traveling with children is more difficult,
you will not visit all places and other excuses. I lived with my grandmother, she is my parent”,
“My parents built market relations with me, as I said. If you behave yourself, you will get a
toy. If you finish a quarter or half of the academic year with excellent marks, you will receive
a telephone; if you finish like this for a whole year, you get a game console. After graduating
from school, I got a car. While you are little, it’s still funny, but then you realize that it would
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be better if they just praised you or said “son, we are proud of you”, I don’t remember this
since my birth”.
Having singled out the most common units of judgment, we can note that 60% of the
participants from Group 2 (young people who do not seek psychological closeness) note the
lack of closeness with their parents, only 17% of the participants from the opposite group
note the lack of closeness with their parents. The differences between the samples are
significant according to Fisher's test at p ≤ 0.01 (φemp. = 2.75).
Stage 3 of work. Differences in the content of subjective ideas about psychological closeness.
The third, final stage of the study was a conversation mediated by a drawing on the
topic: "The image of the desired relationship."Currently, images are increasingly used in
psychological research and in various areas of psychotherapy, their specific effectiveness is
noted in comparison with verbal means (Curtis, R. 2016; Faranda, F. 2016, Zalevskaya, 2019).
The drawing, according to our plan, allowed the participants to express both conscious and
unconscious, including emotional, aspects of their ideas about psychological closeness in a
figurative and symbolic form, to come into contact with their inner experience of close
relationships or their absence in the process of creating the drawing, which created favorable
conditions for subsequent conversation.
To create a drawing, the participants were offered paints (watercolors, gouache),
brushes, white paper. The process of creating a picture and a conversation for each
participant was given 35-40 minutes. After the participant completes the drawing, the
participant is invited to talk about its feelings, about the image he made. If it is difficult for
the participant to talk about its feelings on its own behalf, then he is offered the option to
identify himself with any part of the picture and talk about its feelings.
In addition, each participant, if it was not voiced by him independently, was asked to
describe its ideas about psychological closeness, to answer in detail the questions: “What
kind of relationship would I like with my partner?”, “How do I see my desired relationship?”.
After analyzing the participants' drawings, together with the material from the
drawing-mediated conversation, we identified the phenomena characteristic of each of the
groups. It is noteworthy that the works of the two groups differ significantly in color.
Figures 1, 2, 3, drawn by young people not seeking psychological intimacy, were
considered typical examples.
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Figure 1."Image of the desired relationship" of young people, not seeking psychological
closeness.
Figure 2."Image of the desired relationship" of young people, not seeking psychological
closeness.
Figure 3. "Image of the desired relationship" of young people, not seeking psychological
closeness
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In the pictures above, group members who are not seeking psychological intimacy use
darker, colder shades. Most of the drawings have a compositional center around which dark
colors prevail. If there is an image of a light spot, often with a predominance of warm tones,
then the authors associated it with their inner world, their personal space.
The members of this group are characterized by the description of themselves as the
center of their world, and an indication of caution to let someone into their world: “I see
myself as the center, I feel good in my world. It is quite interesting here, but I will let you into
my world carefully, gradually. I don’t want people to burst into my territory and build their
own rules ”,“ I am the sun here, and my rays can reach the ground, but they seem to be afraid
and direct their light and warmth to themselves, and not to the outside world. It’s already
more usual when you give warmth to yourself ”,“ I see myself here as the center of everything.
Such a bright yellow sun, and around me is a whirlpool of events, and these events are very
diverse”.
Describing the drawings, the participants note the importance of personal boundaries
and freedom: “One of the most important for me is that they are not “strong” hugs, not close,
but there is space around me. This means that relationships are not some kind of shackle, but
I have personal freedom (personal space)”, “It is important not to merge into each other, but
to have my own space (at this point the girl separated the sheets), knowing that you are loved
and support, even when not around. It is important for me to have something of my own,
where the partner has no place where I can take care of myself ”,“I did not completely paint
over this space between a man and a woman, but left small distances so that everyone had
freedom. That was where to take a breath of fresh air, and not completely immerse yourself
in a relationship”. Figures 4 and 5, drawn by young people seeking psychological closeness,
are discussed below.
The first thing we can notice in the pictures above in the text is the presence of bright
colors. This is typical for most of the drawings of the respondents in this group. Participants
compare relationships with an “explosion” of emotions, thereby depicting bright flashes,
fireworks, intertwining bright colors (“For me, relationships are an explosion, fireworks of
emotions! I want to keep this feeling of fireworks, brightness, colors, as long as possible”,
“Relationships are a whole fountain of emotions. The most different, colorful,
bright.Moments of dark and sad. But all these emotions go to the middle, and in it your union.
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And you live all these emotions together”, “Relationship is a spark between two, which grows
into such a fire. It burns hot that no one and nothing can approach it”).
Figure 4."Image of the desired relationship" of young people, seeking psychological closeness
Figure 5."Image of the desired relationship" of young people, seeking psychological closeness
Drawings are dominated by red, a bright, warm color that evokes strong emotions that
creates a sense of excitement or intensity. In contrast to the color red, participants often use
blue in their drawings, associating it with feelings of calmness or serenity. One of the
participants, describing its drawing, said: “On the orange path, you already have small
problems, but if you overcome them, you will find yourself in a calm, peaceful, blue
background. Blue here for me is a stable, strong relationship”.
Most often, the entire paper space is covered in the drawings of this group of
participants. In the conversation, the participants report that they see this as a reflection of
the relationship as complementarity, where they are separate, and together create an alliance,
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complement each other with the best qualities: “It is important for me that there are some
common values, interests, and the white strokes are an image of the fact that, in spite of the
fact that there is something in common, everyone in a relationship has its own interests, its
own affairs, and they sometimes intersect in the spheres of another” ; “I started to drip colored
spots and they started to combine so well that I realized that this is the relationship. You can
be completely different, not combining and not matching each other at first sight, but now
you have connected, and something incredible and beautiful has formed”, “a relationship is
an exchange of energies. Ideally, you give and receive in return. Together you form something
beautiful, such a huge whirlwind of emotions and feelings”.
For the analysis of the conversation, semantic units were identified, grouped by
categories and concepts, according to the method of narration of G.M. Breslava (Breslav,
2010). The differences between the groups in terms of the analyzed aspects of perceptions of
psychological closeness in relationships are presented in Table 2.
Table 2. Differences in the content of subjective ideas about psychological closeness
between groups of young people seeking and not seeking psychological closeness.
Comparisoncriteria
Fisher's φ* criterion
number of respondents in the group
Fisher's φ*
criterion
seekingpsycholo
gicalcloseness
notseekingpsychol
ogicalcloseness
confidence
16
13
0,78
need for community, for unity
17
4
3.71
need for a separate personal space
8
23
4.06
the need to respect and respect
personal boundaries in a relationship
7
17
2.70
the need to feel secure in a relationship
5
12
2.04
the need to be the center of your world
in a relationship with a loved one
4
14
2.94
Statistical analysis according to Fisher's criterion showed that the differences found
are significant at the level of p ≤ 0.01 in terms of the following parameters: the need for
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community; the need for unity; the need to respect and respect personal boundaries in
relationships; the need to be the center of your world in a relationship with a loved one. At a
significance level of p ≤ 0.05, the need to feel secure in a relationship. There were no
significant differences in the gender parameter of confidence.
As can be seen from Table 2, at a significance level of p ≤ 0.01 according to Fisher's
criterion, a group of young people who do not strive for psychological closeness are
distinguished by: a greater severity of needs associated with separateness, separation, such
as: needs in a separate personal space, in respecting personal boundaries in a relationship.
The expressiveness of the need to be the center of one's world in relations with a loved one
is also more consistent with the egocentric tendency. As the statements in the conversation
showed, the expressed need to feel safe in relationships, the experience of the threat of being
hurt in relationships, prevents the young people of this group from opening their inner world
and their personal boundaries to another, to get closer. In contrast, a group of young people
seeking psychological closeness is distinguished by a more pronounced need for community
and unity. At the same time, according to the results of the conversation, they do not
experience community and closeness as a threat to their individuality, separateness, or their
inner world. Differences between the groups in terms of the severity of the need to feel secure
in relationships also turned out to be significant at the significance level of p ≤ 0.05 according
to Fisher's test. However, more often than not, young people with different attitudes towards
psychological closeness put different meanings into understanding security in relationships.
So, young people who do not seek psychological closeness associated safety with keeping a
distance in a relationship with a partner, building solid boundaries, keeping significant areas
of their inner experience inaccessible to a partner. While young men and women seeking
intimacy in a relationship talked about security as trusting a partner, confidence in its
support in a difficult situation, confidence that purely personal information given to him
during close communication will not be disclosed to them.
There were no significant differences in subjective perceptions in such an aspect of
psychological closeness as trust in the compared groups.
Thus, our assumption that among young people who do not strive for psychological
closeness, in the content of subjective ideas about psychological closeness, the need for
separateness is more pronounced than for compatibility, has found its empirical
confirmation.
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Thus, summing up the results of the empirical research, we can say that our
assumption that young people who do not seek psychological intimacy have a more
pronounced need for isolation than for togetherness in the content of subjective ideas about
psychological intimacy, and in particular in observing and respecting personal boundaries in
relationships; to be the center of their world in relationships (p < 0.01); to feel safe in
relationships (p < 0.05), has found its empirical confirmation. The assumption was also
confirmed about the differences between young people striving and not striving for intimacy
in terms of the severity of the desire for autonomy; self-doubt; lack of intimacy with
significant adults in childhood; counter-dependence, as well as a high frequency of
occurrence among them of the avoidant type of attachment (p ≤ 0.01).
A comparison of the quantitative change in the desire for autonomy according to the
method of "Interpersonal Dependence Questionnaire" (Makushina, 2007) and the content of
the respondents' individual ideas about the desired relationship allows us to conclude that
young people who avoid psychological intimacy autonomy looks more like a tendency to
distance themselves from others, avoiding long-term interpersonal relationships associated
with the fear of being hurt in a relationship, the desire to protect themselves from perceived
threats from a partner.
This is consistent with what T. V. notes. Kazantseva "avoidance of intimacy is a
personality trait that indicates the lack of formation of personal autonomy" (Kazantseva,
2011), meaning genuine mature personal autonomy. In a collective psychological portrait of a
person with a fear of intimacy, the author lists such traits as workaholism, perfectionism,
negativism, arrogance, narcissism. Our study revealed other distinctive features of young
people who do not show the desire for psychological intimacy, not necessarily because of
fear. Moreover, the severity of a number of them, such as self-doubt, counter-dependence,
can be significantly reduced in therapeutic or developmental practices, which in the future
can increase the level of psychological well-being of such young people and contribute to
their building healthier partnerships and family relationships in the future, since the level of
psychological well-being is higher in people for whom happiness is more associated with
love, friendship, intimacy and relationships (Kartasheva, Grishina, 2015).
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Conclusion
Young people today are increasingly replacing the basic need for intimacy with the
need for self-sufficiency. The study of the psychological characteristics of young people, boys
and girls who do not strive for psychological closeness, can shed light on the understanding
of the psychological background of this phenomenon.
As a result of the analysis of the literature, we can say that the topic of avoidance of
intimacy in modern society is gaining more and more relevance and is increasingly becoming
a subject of study. The originality and novelty of our research is in the use of both quantitative
and qualitative methods. In addition to quantitative techniques, we included drawing-
mediated conversation in the study.
The conducted empirical research has confirmed our hypotheses. We can imagine a
more complete portrait of a person who does not seek psychological closeness. Such young
people are distinguished by the desire for independence and autonomy, they respect their
personal boundaries, treat their personal space with trepidation, not wanting to let others
near them who are not ready to accept them as they are. These are people who have avoidant
attachment and counterdependency. All of this is due to the lack of sufficient intimacy with
significant adults in childhood, which also makes a significant contribution to the
development of self-doubt.
The combination of verbal and figurative-symbolic means, namely the proposal to
express in the drawing the image of the desired relationship, made it possible to more fully
understand the subjective ideas of young people about psychological closeness, the
peculiarities of their experience of psychological closeness in childhood and current
experience. We saw that a group of young people who do not strive for psychological
closeness are distinguished by describing themselves as the center of their world, and an
indication of caution and even fear of letting someone into their world. Letting someone into
their lives means breaking their personal boundaries. Participants of the second group, on
the contrary, see relationships as complementary, where each of the partners is isolated, but
together they create a union, into which each brings its own unique qualities, enriching and
complementing each other.
The study concluded that the lack of desire for psychological closeness is not equal to
the desire for healthy personal autonomy. Our research shows that this is often not a personal
choice of a person, but a result associated with a lack of reliable close relationships in
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childhood and with incomplete separation processes in the future. As shown by the results
obtained, this is due to the feeling of a child who grew up in such conditions of distrust of
the world, self-doubt, and isolation, which are the reasons why young people do not strive to
build close relationships. Thus, the lack of striving for a close attitude of young people looks
like a “choice without choice” made from a lack of psychological resources, and not from
equally available alternatives.
The results obtained prompt us to raise the question of the need to develop and
implement practices to support young people in the development of opportunities for a
positive experience of psychological intimacy. The practices will be aimed at psychological
education of parents about the consequences of preference for such individualistic values as
career, personal life, self-development to the detriment of investing strength and resources in
building psychologically safe close healthy relationships in the family, with their children.
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